Spooky Self Storage: Be Careful When You Store Your Halloween Decorations

Goblins and witches and werewolves, oh my! It’s that spooky time of year again, and Halloween is only a few weeks away. You’re busy carving pumpkins, decorating your front yard, and buying Halloween treats. Decorations for this scary night have come a long way in the last decade. In the past, a glowing jack-o-lantern was the traditional decoration. If you carved one with unique features, it was a big deal. Now we have everything from strings of purple and orange lights to a 6 foot animated Freddy Kreuger.

Costumes have also evolved through the years, and there is no shortage of ideas. Specialty Halloween stores lure you with a variety of weird costumes and frightening masks, and they’re not inexpensive. You can be anything from a glittering emoji to Demogorgon from Stranger Things. Couples, group and family costumes are available in everything from Scooby Doo to Harry Potter. There are no limits to your Halloween vision.

After a festive night of trick or treating, you’ll want to put those costumes and decorations back into your self storage unit. Deflate your inflatables, pack up those costumes, and bubble wrap the animatronics. But, be warned, there are certain spooky creatures that you may want to avoid storing in your unit. 

If You Store These Spooky Creatures, Be Ready for Trouble

Skeletons

That bag of bones looks harmless enough, but they have some nasty habits. Skeletons love to dress up. They will tear open your bags and boxes to find their idea of a perfect outfit (don’t ask). After they dress up they “party like it’s your birthday.” Their idea of a good time is making a mess (just like your kids). They’ll tear open boxes, overturn shelving and then break down the rolling door so that they can find the nearest graveyard and hang out with the “walking dead.”

Witches

Witches are the mean girls of the netherworld. Their idea of a good time is casting spells on creatures and humans that they don’t like. Remember The Craft? If you put them in your storage unit they’re sure to make trouble with the ghouls and werewolves. Before long they will be fighting with all of the other creatures and lighting fires under the cauldron so they can brew magic potions. Try explaining that to the fire department.

Ghouls

Ghouls drool. There’s no getting around it. They will slobber all over everything in the unit. You’ll have creepy mold and mildew everywhere. And when they slobber into the witch’s cauldron, there will be an argument that will make an eruption at Mt. St. Helens look like the overflow from a shaken can of Coke. The screeching and howling will wake the dead, who will join the party.

Ghosts

Ghosts are quiet. They won’t make much noise, and they’ll walk through boxes and walls without destroying any of your stored items. But you’ll be sorry if you store them in your unit. They are super mischievous. These ghostly troublemakers will fly all over the property trying to scare the staff and prospective customers. If you store paperwork in your unit, they’ll rearrange it and change names and numbers. They’ll put your Christmas ornaments in with your Easter baskets and change the lock on your unit. It’s time to buy some bolt cutters.

Werewolves

Storing a werewolf in your unit is just asking for trouble. Because of their shape-shifting power, you might think you’re storing a cute little lion cub. But, as soon as you close and lock the door, that huge werewolf will break out and start looking for dinner. If he decides to bring his meal back to his new home and eat in the unit, you’ll be overrun with creatures of a different variety.

Vampires

Never store vampires and werewolves in the same unit. Everything you own will be bloodstained and covered in bite marks. There will be some ugly conflicts because they have a strong dislike for each other. Vampires think of themselves as aristocratic, whereas werewolves are more laid back. Think Prince Philip and Larry the Cable Guy. Be sure to visit only during the day, and keep your wooden stake and silver bullets handy. If there’s a confrontation, you don’t want to be in the middle. They clearly don’t like each other. It’s really an issue of superiority complexes: who is the bigger, badder creature? 

Take Away

You all know we’re only kidding. These creatures don’t really exist. You buy them at the Halloween store in the form of animatronics, inflatables, or just plain old decorations, use them for Halloween and then put them in storage. This was all just a crazy Halloween joke. Or was it?